so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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