she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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