But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the day after is always just damage control
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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