my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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