I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
