So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
