Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Can I color on your dick again?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
