He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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