He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
