He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
