Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
