apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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