My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
my sisters under your porch take her home
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
