Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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