well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
