My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
