I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize