i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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