CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
They are going to name an STD after you.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
