i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
