i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You can't special order awesome
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
