She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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