this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
