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Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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