I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
