have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
