Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
