girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
