office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
