You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize