You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
