the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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