Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
