He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
