I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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