I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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