whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
