Is it normal to miss your booty call?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize