I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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