There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize