OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
