Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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