Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
