If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize