This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
