I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
