I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
