the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
