that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
