I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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