Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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