Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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