my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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