his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
