I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
