Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
