fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
well you can't waste a boner
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
