I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just cropdusted the office
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
