Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
