im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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