Apparently you make a good broom.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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