at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
