i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
