My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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