I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
