the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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