The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
two words...techno handjob
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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