Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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