Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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