I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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