I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my sisters under your porch take her home
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
