Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
