Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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